Literary Wives Club: His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie
(My fourth read with the Literary Wives online book club; see also Kay’s review and Naomi’s review.)
{SPOILERS IN THIS ONE}
Peace Adzo Medie’s 2020 debut novel was the first disappointment I’ve had from Reese Witherspoon’s book club. The Kirkus review excerpt inside the paperback’s front cover should have given me an idea of what to expect: “A Cinderella story set in Ghana … A Crazy Rich Asians for West Africa.” While both slightly reductive, those comparisons do give some sense of the book’s tone and superficiality.
Afi Tekple is a seamstress whose family arranges for her to marry Elikem Ganyo, a rich international businessman who has properties all over Ghana. In a neat bit of symmetry, I read a novel earlier this year that opened with a traditional Ghanaian divorce ceremony where the husband was in absentia (What Napoleon Could Not Do); this opens with a traditional wedding ceremony where, again, the groom isn’t there. The giving of schnapps as part of a dowry is a customary element of both.
The first half of the novel was agonizingly slow. Afi and her mother do little but sit in an opulent Accra flat, waiting for Eli to grace them with his presence. When he does appear, what luck! (eye roll) he and Afi have a magical sexual connection, described in romance novel language. But he’s only there part time, dividing his attentions between households. Afi enrols in fashion school, cooks and keeps house for Eli, and falls pregnant with his son, Selorm. (In another instance of poor pacing, we then jump to a year after the birth.) It should be a perfect life, yet she’s not happy because there is a rival for her husband’s affections.
You see, Eli’s family chose Afi in the hope that she’d get him to give up the Liberian woman who gave birth to his sickly daughter. They despise Muna for her independent spirit and transgressive behaviour. Although Afi knew about Muna, she doesn’t realize the extent to which she was the Ganyos’ pawn until late on. Meanwhile, Afi has gone from a timid country girl to a confident, high-class boutique owner accustomed to modern conveniences. She won’t ignore her longing to move into Eli’s house and get their marriage legally recognized. She issues an ultimatum: either she’s the only, official wife or she’s out of there.
I kept expecting a showdown between Afi and Muna; then, the further I got, the more I feared Muna wouldn’t appear at all. She does have a scene, 20 pages from the end, and instantly takes on more contours than the evil stereotype the Ganyos have spread, yet it doesn’t change Afi’s jealousy and determination to live independently. I hoped for more of a message of understanding and sisterhood. Initially, the arranged marriage plot reminded me of a particular Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie short story, but Afi’s narration was only so-so and there were more grammar and vocabulary errors than I’m used to encountering in conventionally published work. This might appeal to readers of Ayobami Adebayo’s Stay with Me. (Public library)
The main question we ask about the books we read for Literary Wives is:
What does this book say about wives or about the experience of being a wife?
My main takeaway from His Only Wife is that a marriage doesn’t work if there’s someone interfering – and that refers to Afi’s mother-in-law probably more so than it does to Muna.
Eli just wants to have his cake and eat it. He thinks he should be free to accumulate as many cars and houses and women as he wants. He never intended to leave that woman and you all knew it … I want him to be mine only. Is that too much to ask? I’m sorry that I’m not like other wives who are able to happily share their husbands with co-wives and mistresses and girlfriends. That’s just not me. I’m not built like that.
I was a little uncomfortable that Medie presents legal marriage and monogamy as the only viable option, with Afi coming to disparage the village ceremony she had and wanting the fairy tale proposal in Paris and church wedding instead. Polygamy has a long tradition in countries including Ghana and Nigeria; it might have been interesting for Medie to explore contrasting attitudes toward it. Instead, this feels like pandering to Western tastes.
Next book: The Harpy by Megan Hunter in June
Recommended May Releases: Adichie, Pavey and Unsworth
Three very different works of women’s life writing: heartfelt remarks on bereavement, a seasonal diary of stewarding four wooded acres in Somerset, and a look back at postnatal depression.
Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
This slim hardback is an expanded version of an essay Adichie published in the New Yorker in the wake of her father’s death in June 2020. With her large family split across three continents and coronavirus lockdown precluding in-person get-togethers, they had a habit of frequent video calls. She had seen her father the day before on Zoom and knew he was feeling unwell and in need of rest, but the news of his death still came as a complete shock.
Adichie anticipates all the unhelpful platitudes people could and did send her way: he lived to a ripe old age (he was 88), he had a full life and was well respected (he was Nigeria’s first statistics professor), he had a mercifully swift end (kidney failure). Her logical mind knows all of these facts, and her writer’s imagination has depicted grief many times. Still, this loss blindsided her.
She’d always been a daddy’s girl, but the anecdotes she tells confirm how special he was: wise and unassuming; a liberal Catholic suspicious of materialism and with a dry humour. I marvelled at one such story: in 2015 he was kidnapped and held in the boot of a car for three days, his captors demanding a ransom from his famous daughter. What did he do? Correct their pronunciation of her name, and contradict them when they said that clearly his children didn’t love him. “Grief has, as one of its many egregious components, the onset of doubt. No, I am not imagining it. Yes, my father truly was lovely.” With her love of fashion, one way she dealt with her grief was by designing T-shirts with her father’s initials and the Igbo words for “her father’s daughter” on them.
I’ve read many a full-length bereavement memoir, and one might think there’s nothing new to say, but Adichie writes with a novelist’s eye for telling details and individual personalities. She has rapidly become one of my favourite authors: I binged on most of her oeuvre last year and now have just one more to read, Purple Hibiscus, which will be one of my 20 Books of Summer. I love her richly evocative prose and compassionate outlook, no matter the subject. At £10, this 85-pager is pricey, but I was lucky to get it free with Waterstones loyalty points.
Favourite lines:
“In the face of this inferno that is sorrow, I am callow and unformed.”
“How is it that the world keeps going, breathing in and out unchanged, while in my soul there is a permanent scattering?”
Deeper Into the Wood by Ruth Pavey
In 1999 Ruth Pavey bought four acres of scrubland at auction, happy to be returning to her family’s roots in the Somerset Levels and hoping to work alongside nature to restore some of her land to orchard and maintain the rest in good health. Her account of the first two decades of this ongoing project, A Wood of One’s Own, was published in 2017.
In this sequel, she gives peaceful snapshots of the wood throughout 2019, from first snowdrops to final apple pressing, but also faces up to the environmental degradation that is visible even in this pocket of the countryside. “I am sure there has been a falling off in numbers of insects, smaller birds and rabbits on my patch,” she insists. Without baseline data, it is hard to support this intuition, but she has botanical and bird surveys done, and invites an expert in to do a moth-trapping evening. The resulting species lists are included as appendices. In addition, Pavey weaves a backstory for her land. She meets a daffodil breeder, investigates the source of her groundwater, and visits the head gardener at the Bishop’s Palace in Wells, where her American black walnut sapling came from. She also researches the Sugg family, associated with the land (“Sugg’s Orchard” on the deed) from the 1720s.
Pavey aims to treat this landscape holistically: using sheep to retain open areas instead of mowing the grass, and weighing up the benefits of the non-native species she has planted. She knows her efforts can only achieve so much; the pesticides standard to industrial-scale farming may still be reaching her trees on the wind, though she doesn’t apply them herself. “One sad aspect of worrying about the state of the natural world is that everything starts to look wrong,” she admits. Starting in that year’s abnormally warm January, it was easy for her to assume that the seasons can no longer be relied on.
Compared with her first memoir, this one is marked by its intellectual engagement with the principles and practicalities of rewilding. Clearly, her inner struggle is motivated less by the sense of ownership than by the call of stewardship. While this book is likely be of most interest to those with a local connection or a similar project underway, it offers a universal model of how to mitigate our environmental impact. Pavey’s black-and-white sketches of the flora and fauna on her patch, reminiscent of Quentin Blake, are a highlight.
With thanks to Duckworth for the proof copy for review. The book will be published tomorrow, the 27th of May.
After the Storm: Postnatal Depression and the Utter Weirdness of New Motherhood by Emma Jane Unsworth
The author’s son was born on the day Donald Trump won the U.S. presidential election. Six months later, she realized that she was deep into postnatal depression and finally agreed to get help. The breaking point came when, with her husband* away at a conference, she got frustrated with her son’s constant fussing and pushed him over on the bed. He was absolutely fine, but the guilty what-ifs proliferated, making this a wake-up call for her.
In this succinct, wry and hard-hitting memoir, Unsworth exposes the conspiracies of silence that lead new mothers to lie and pretend that everything is fine. Since her son’s traumatic birth (which I first read about in Dodo Ink’s Trauma anthology), she hadn’t been able to write and was losing her sense of self. To add insult to injury, her baby had teeth at 16 weeks and bit her as he breastfed. She couldn’t even admit her struggles to her fellow mum friends. But “if a woman is in pain for long enough, and denied sleep for long enough, and at the same time feels as though she has to keep going and put a ‘brave’ face on, she’s going to crack.”
The book’s titled mini-essays give snapshots into the before and after, but particularly the agonizing middle of things. I especially liked the chapter “The Weirdest Thing I’ve Ever Done in a Hotel Room,” in which she writes about borrowing her American editor’s room to pump breastmilk. Therapy, antidepressants and hiring a baby nurse helped her to ease back into her old life and regain some part of the party girl persona she once exuded – enough so that she was willing to give it all another go (her daughter was born late last year).
While Unsworth mostly writes from experience, she also incorporates recent research and makes bold statements of how cultural norms need to change. “You are not monsters,” she writes to depressed mums. “You need more support. … Motherhood is seismic. It cracks open your life, your relationship, your identity, your body. It features the loss, grief and hardship of any big life change.” I can imagine this being hugely helpful to anyone going through PND (see also my Three on a Theme post on the topic), but I’m not a mother and still found plenty to appreciate (especially “We have to smash the dichotomy of mums/non-mums … being maternal has nothing to do with actually physically being a mother”).
I’m attending a Wellcome Collection online event with Unsworth and midwife Leah Hazard (author of Hard Pushed) this evening and look forward to hearing more from both authors.
*It took me no time at all to identify him from the bare facts: Brighton + doctor + graphic novelist = Ian Williams (author of The Lady Doctor)! I had no idea. What a fun connection.
With thanks to Profile Books/Wellcome Collection for the free copy for review.